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Saturday, February 14, 2004
It's Valentine's Day today... What joy! I'm just back from Laura's house... Slept over there last night after the SJI thing. Yesterday was pretty ok - though we had no pre-planned programme. I managed to talk to Joy and Stella about the totally screwed up education system here, how everything's tied in to your grades, how the higher powers-that-be assume that your grades are an indicator of how much potential you have. That's total bull-sh*t. I know of many people who don't do very well academically, but they're such amazing dynamos with an incredible capacity to lead, inspire and commit. The more I talked about it, the more confused I got. I realised after a while that while it seemed that I was making progress as I talked to Joy last night, I was actually walking around in circles in my own head. One thing always leads to another, and in the end, I land up where I started - at the beginning.
Sighs. But it was pretty good to actually be able to empty my head of these thoughts once in a while and allow other presumably wiser and older people to have a go at answering my many questions - which, I must admit that are at times rather retarded. To Stella, my mortal who thinks I'm an idiot and keeps asking me what denial is - thank you for starting everything by bothering to ask me about what I wanted in the first place, and for drilling into my head the fact that someone will catch me if and when I fall. It's damned cliched and terribly overused, but sometimes, these comforting cliches are what comforts me when I feel overwhelmed by the pace at which things are progressing around me. To my simple mind, these kinda cliches work best when I'm feeling that my mind is running too far ahead of its own intristic capabilities and attempting to think complex thoughts.
Anyways. SJI aside, yesterday was a pretty darn fun day. By the time the second period drew to a close with the sounding of the chime, I was convinced that the males in my class that morning were pretty much beyond hope. While Laura and I went down to the staff lounge to try to get the helium tank to the canteen so we could sell balloons that recess, the boys in class were taking turns at throwing scrunched up sweet wrappers into the bin. After they ran out of things to throw, they would run back to the bin, pick up whatever they had tossed, run back to their desks, and start throwing them all over again. I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. Sure, it's ok if you think that aiming at the bin at the far end of the wall is fun. But doing that while their classmates are trying to get things done? I'm sorry, but I was too astounded to say anything much besides one or two scathing remarks that were better kept to myself.
After that, though, things started to be much better. The balloon sales was pretty good and went smoothly. The boys actually helped to pump the balloons. *gasp, what a pleasant surprise!* And they actually helped to sell a fairly large number of them. *gasp, bigger surprise!* We didn't have GP lessons that morning as Miss Yim was nice about our fund-raising efforts and gave us the two periods to get ready for everything. I made use of the two periods to get Khin from the library (she crashed AC yesterday!), and get her down to the canteen to talk crap to her. She found Leon after a while so I went back to help hold balloons, though there really wasn't much to do in the first place. Recess came along, and we sold some balloons. We decided to skip econs lecture, but I didn't dare to skip geography tutorial which followed that. In economics terms, the opportunity cost would of skipping the tutorial would be too great. E4 literature was next, and I met Laura and Ian Chua walking down from class to the canteen. She told me that they had persmission to miss lit and look after the things in the canteen, while I would take over during European history tutorial with Mel and Jeanne. But oh! - the complete unfairness of it all made me feel totally misunderstood when Miss Ng didn't allow me to miss her tutorial, while she let Mel and Jeanne, and even Laura go. Why?? I didn't realise how much my work attitude has changed this year up until that point in time, when Miss Ng thought I was one of the people who she had to keep an eye on in terms of schoolwork. This isn't good. I really need to do something about my work attitude. It's become strangely distorted with the influx of so many new people and events. Argh. Skipped Chinese, had a free period for E8 lit, and stoned during econs tutorial. I didn't do anything even slightly useful yesterday.
Well. It's Valentine's Day today, and as I said right at the start of this entry - what complete and exhilirating joy I'm feeling on this special occasion. The day which you are supposed to spend with the one you love or with your friends - I'm spending it alone in my bedroom trying to catch up on my sleep! This is seriously getting to be very pathetic. I should have tried asking Ko-Ko Maggie for tickets to the MTV Asia Awards tonight. Then at least I'd have something special to do today instead of just spending it like a drearier-than-usual Saturday. And besides, I know for a fact that someone has tickets to the Awards. Argh. Why didn't I ask?
heard
those magic reindeer click @
11:34 AM
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