|
Saturday, February 07, 2004
*Too Lost in You//Sugababes
Finding a good, reliable image host isn't as easy as I thought it would be. It's been a week since my images haven't been loading... Argh. Frustrated. And all the work's starting to pile up. I really should be re-copying my notes out properly so I can read them (as my note-taking handwriting's completely illegible), but there's like this massive back-log of things I have to get through by the time this weekend draws to a close. Sighs. To add to my misery, there'll be two tests coming up next week - History and Economics. I'm supposed to be able to find the time to study for them on top of finishing the ridiculous pile of work waiting for me on my desk while somehow having to slot in my weekend church activities in between all that? Utter madness. Something's got to give, and I'm afraid that it might be my own sanity that flies out of the window.
Oh yeah. Dinner at BK on Thursday after Arts Night was fairly interesting. Yes, Laura. I know you've been itching to hear what I gotta say about everything. :) I must warn you, though, that you may be slightly disappointed, 'cause what I'm gonna say here may be what you already know. Anyways. It's been talked about by various classes across the entire Arts fac, and it's almost common knowledge that Jon likes Laura.
So, like, on Thursday, Laura, Shaun and I were having dinner with the senior class (which is Jon's class). Melanie came much later after debates. Initially, I was sitting opposite Shaun, next to Laura, who had Jon sitting beside her on her other side. Then the air-con over my head started dripping (bless the air-con!), which then forced me to move somewhere else. Dragging Shaun with me 'cause I didn't want to sit alone, only Caleb and Luke from the senior class were left with Laura and Jon. So like, Caleb comes over to join Shaun and I while Luke gets called over by his classmates 'cause they have something really "important" to tell him. By some bizarre twist of fate (and lots of intervention from us busybodies), Laura and Jon are left alone to talk. Well, this is the part that's gonna disappoint, 'cause while Laura thinks that Caleb told me stuff about Jon and her, he actually was talking about JC life in general. But it was pretty funny, how the three of us (later joined by Stella and Mel), kept peering over to see how the pair were getting along. I think the night ended well for them, though. Feels good to know that you've done something to help your friend's love life. Now, if only someone would help me with my own. :)
For all my big talk about being dateless for Valentine's Day this year, it actually bugs me. For the first time in my entire life, I'm slightly bummed out that I'm gonna remain dateless for Valentine's. And that's annoying me, 'cause I never felt like I wanted my Valentine's to be special before, and I don't see why this year should be any different. I used to just spend the day with my girl friends out eating or bumming around talking absolute crap... Why can't I do it this year too? Sighs. I don't know what I want anymore.
I talked to Trina this morning shortly after I got up. We were both saying how much we missed actually feeling "useful" in school. Like, for the past seven years of my life, I've always had some role to play in the classroom, or in the school. Chairperson, prefect, committee member, some leader or the other... I've always felt useful or wanted. Up until this year. It feels weird, standing in the background and being a mere participator. I've always been doing some form of planning or the other. But now, I'm particiapating in what others have planned. On one hand, it's good 'cause I can breath more easily without having extra pressure on me. On the other hand, I hate it, 'cause I feel that planning the event actually makes you more attached to it, and you appreciate the success of it more than if you were part of the mass audience. Sighs. But I don't know if I can rise up to the challenge of having to start totally from scratch again. No past reputations or credentials to fall back on... Just you, and how you present yourself. It's scary how starting from the absolute beginning really is. Frightening, how much work you have to put in to climb back up to the position where you once were extremely comfortable in. Argh. I wish I still had the prospect of having to spend my last year in IJ to look forward to. When everything seemed so rosy, when the grass seemed much greener in JC pastures. How wrong I was.
Oh yeah. If you're reading this, Khin, expect my letter to arrive in your mail sometime next week. I'd actually written it on the day Leon passed me your note, but I was too lazy to post it. Will do it later, when I get round to uprooting myself from my cushions and taking that slow, long walk down to the post-box. :) In case the letter gets lost in the treacherous, long journey that all letters have to partake to reach its intended recipient, just know that the essential message of it was that I miss you too. I miss the friends in IJ now scattered all over the place, I miss Prefects and Council, I even miss Math, believe it or not. I miss you and your attempts to wreck my kitchen and oven, in particular, lolling around on the deckchairs by the pool with the intention of getting a nice bronze tan on a cloudy day, and your uncanny ability to know when I'm feeling depressed. Sighs. Let me know when you get my letter, yeah?
heard
those magic reindeer click @
1:16 PM
|
