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Saturday, March 13, 2004
I've had enough of being a spectator in the arena of my own life. I'm sick of watching everything spiral out of control, sick of having to absorb certain events as they happen to me. I will take control of my own life, I have the ability to do better than how I've been living out my life thus far, and I will change things as of today. I have to.
Went out with Trina yesterday. It was another one of those Friday night wander-down-Orchard-and-who-the-heck-cares-about-the-rest-of-the-world sessions. Khin called me while we were walking into Giordano's and screamed that she got it. For a moment, I couldn't comprehend what the "it" was. It was the UWC scholarship! :) I was so so glad for her. I was kinda overwhelmed when she told me, so I probably sounded a little watered down or something. But I just didn't know what to say, to tell her how I was so happy for her, how I was so proud although I'm not her mother or anything. She's amazing, and she totally deserves the scholarship. I'm so glad that it went to her and not someone who probably doesn't deserve it half as much as she does. All I can say is that girl's gonna go to high places, and man will she soar. :D
Khin's announcement last night made me think about what I was doing to help myself in any way. I wasn't - that's the whole problem, and it was there and then when I was talking to Trina that I decided that I couldn't go on like this. I couldn't go on throwing away opportunities, wasting my time, not working hard enough when I still could. Hence the determination. My council interview was completely screwed up, but maybe that could have been a blessing in disguise? Since the chances of me making it through that interview are zilch, I won't have council to distract me from my work. I can't go on kidding myself, I know for a fact that I'll have to work slightly harder than everyone else just to stay on par with them. I do well in exams only through sheer hard work, not because I'm particularly smart. So if I'll have to mug to produce results, I will mug. I can't see any other way round this.
Trina and I promised each other that we'd work hard, get our scholarships and go to the UK together. She's started to act on her resolution - she's not running for council at Hwa Chong anymore. It's time I know what I have to do. It's time I do it.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
10:45 AM
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