//angela

//carol

//chelsa

//ching joo

//constance

//eileen

//hiro

//ian poh

//jean

//jeanne

//jeanette

//jelly

//john

//khin

//laura

//michelle goh

//michelle lee

//michelle wong

//sam li

//shawn

//sherman

//stella

//trina

//xiang hong

//xiuf

Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Am very tired. I don't know what I feel anymore. Or maybe I don't want to feel anything anymore. Maybe it's a choice I made when I decided. Whatever it is, I'm completely numbed. Void of emotion. I don't think I can feel again. Or not for a long time, anyways. It's funny, how life can seem so peaceful and smooth-sailing when one takes away all the emotions involved. It just becomes routine actions, nothing more than that. If no meaning is attached to whatever I see or do, then everything's so much simpler and clearer. I'm just drifting around... Lost. Don't know what direction I wanna take, don't know what's gonna happen. How long will this last for? I'm afraid it'll be a long time before I'm my old self again. Or maybe I'll never regain that lost part of me ever. I don't know. I don't know if I wanna run away or if I wanna stay put. I don't know. I really don't. There's still so much I need to say, so much more to clear out of my system. I can't bring myself to do anything besides smile and pretend that everything's back to normal. And it's sad that even that's no longer painful. All that strong emotion has become a mere shadow of its former fiery self. Like a dying flame, still persisting but ever so faint. The slightest breeze could put the entire light out and kill it completely, but still it lingers. Lingering, persisting... Waiting.

heard those magic reindeer click @ 8:25 PM