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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Sometimes, things may seem all fine and dandy on the outside. Like you know, how you laugh and smile the whole day 'cause you're surrounded by greeeaaat friends who never cease to give you a moment without laughter? Like how your friends just give you the reason to smile even though late at night in your bed, you feel like you'll never ever smile genuinely again just because of that one thing? But deepdeep inside, suppressed and covered with layers and layers of other things, that one thing that bothers you still remains and won't seem to go away in spite of trying so hard to fill your day with a whirlwind of things to do in an attempt to make you not think about it. Like how you think making your body do all the thousand and one possible things in a day will eventually make you too tired out to think of that annoying thing. So all right, all that made absolutely zerosense. But I just needed to rant a bit to relieve that pent up frustration inside.
I think it's quite sad how everything seems so normal and nice, but you're the only one in the world who seems to think otherwise. That things that seem natural to others appear so contrived and forced to yourself. And I think that's sad. :(
But anyhow. Ranting aside, today was quite a good day too. Even though I've got a whole mountain of essays to finish within the next one week or so. Even though PW stress's making me incredibly short-tempered these days. Yeah. Today wasn't so bad by itself.
And. I've finally dropped math! I feel like quite a failure in a way, though. Just last year, the thought of doing so badly for my exams that the school'd force me to drop a subject as a last resort never even occured to me. The thought of me actually failing my term exams overall never even popped into my mind. But wellwell, look what we've got here. I've not only failed my exams quite spectacularly with 2-bloody-Fs, I'm also being told that I don't have the mental capability to handle 4 lousy A-Level subjects. What the hell's wrong with me? Sighhhh. I guess it's affected me even more than I thought it did. This is damn bad. I really need to snap out of it. Double-sigh. But I don't even know where to begin.
Went to BK at Heartland with Dree and Deborah after school today. I wanted to eat cheese nuggets and a sundae pie BUT. They were all out of stock. Sheesh. And I was so looking forward to eating either one all throughout the day okay. Oh-well. Oh. And geog tutorial was a total riot today. Laughed so damn hard man. And I actually felt fairly wide-awake for the entire duration of the tutorial for the first time in a long time too. Though I think that was 'cause I was laughing 90% of the time. But nevermind, staying awake IS staying awake after all.
Tag-board replies:
khin: WOMAN!!!! omg, i wish you were here too!!! you know, when i got your msg early this morning in class, this huge smile just popped up on my face and i was grinning like a complete idiot. seriously though, i was damndamn HAPPY to hear from you!! i felt damn down today. for some strange reason. and i really wish either you or tri were in ac with me now. not that i'm not having enough fun and all, but there's more to life than just all the happy moments, yes? sighh. i'd msg you at odd hours too if i could, but as it is, you don't have a phone. so this board seems like our only convenient communication link. how tragic!
jeanette: i was damn happy to see you guys too man! :) hmmm. actually, i kinda decided by mid-year that i was gonna try for ac.. but that was just me lah! what are your choices now anyways? er. i guess i should go tag your board sometime soon too 'cause you mayn't come by anytime soon eh? haha. yep, ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR PRELIMS!!!!
michwong: thanks dearie!! you feeling better yourself? get lots of rest so you'll get well soon! haha. you're so cute lah. you actually bring the whole huuuge packet of tissue to school! hahahaa..
stella: ohhhh. so 'prelims' is like a taboo word or something eh? oops! all righty then! hmmm. er. i miss the presence of the j2s in school!! feels so empty now that half the j2 cohort isn't in school every morning. sighh.
yongxi: hahahaha.... i'm going mad tooooo! gosh. today's geog tutorial was damn funny. i feel quite embarrassed for you, actually!
hiro: what happened to your blog?? anyways, go study! though you always deny the fact that you're a closet mugger, now's a good time to start mugging!
nartz: haha.... if you make more pink things when you're bored and send them to me, they'll all be up here too! :) i like pink man. goodness. i can feel myself become increasingly more stressed everyday!!
heard
those magic reindeer click @
8:40 PM
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