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Monday, August 02, 2004
Woke up this morning with completely no voice, a horrendous splitting headache and a slight fever. On one hand, I wanted to go to school 'cause I had stayed up til 2 last night to finish up my human geog essay. But I decided that there wouldn't be much point in going if I couldn't talk without sounding vaguely like a frog. So yes. At home now while the rain falls.
The rain always puts me in a melancholic, sad, depressed mood. It always makes me think and I've realised that thinking too much is terrrribble for me. Sigh. Does funny things to my mind and makes me damn pissed at everything and anything in the world. I keep thinking about how everyone seems to have moved on while I'm still stuck where I am. I wonder if I'm the problem. I start entertaining thoughts of quitting school to set up a carrot farm or a fish shop somewhere. Nope. NOT good.
Sometimes, nice memories of the past give me a warm fuzzy feeling whenever I think about them. But then. It hits me that it all happened IN THE PAST, and it's not gonna happen again. And I feel lost. The nice feeling inside just evaporates and I'm left with this miserable feeling of drained hope and other crappy feelings like that. I wish I could re-do some things that I did. I really do. Like Hermione in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Askaban. She had this cool time-turner thing that rewound time and let her go back into the past. I wish I had one of those so I could go back through time to set some things right again. Seriously. I'd pay good money to do just that.
Dammit. I hate getting trapped in my own head and rambling about how I think my life's messed up and all. So yes. I'll stop just HERE. :)
Econs test tomorrow. Tried reading the bit about perfect competition in Sloman's red book and it actually made a bit of sense. Gives me the idea of reading some more later. Think I'm going to freaking-fail this stupid test again (hey! alliteration maannn..), but no harm giving it a shot eh? Yes-yes. Musn't be so negative all the time. I actually did my chinese 5-year-series yesterday to hand it up to laoshi today. Decided that I should Turn Over A New Leaf and Do My Homework More Often. So proud of myself. Wow-whee.
Think I'm gonna get Chinese take-away from the shop outside. I like the feeling of eating out of a box. I don't know why, I just find it suuuuucch a novelty. Like the food seems more scrumptious and all. Hmmmm... It's probably all in the mind. Oh-well. Eating out of a cardboard box is STILL fun fun fun. Plus. I don't have to wash up any plates after I eat. See? It's a double bonus.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
8:25 AM
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