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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
I don't understand. And yet I understand perfecftly well. My eyes are tired. My mind's saturated with farFAR too many thoughts. I wish I could permanently remove some of the thoughts floating about in my mind 'cause... I'm tired. Everything's changed, but I know nothing will ever change. What the hell am I talking about?
I'm sick and tired of stupididiotic pw. Bloody hell. The only thing I've learnt definitely isn't what moe had in mind for us to have learnt. I never get through a single day without feeling some sort of hatred towards pw. I know it's something that absolutely has to be done, so I just grit my teeth and trudge on in spite of my wanting to throw up my hands and wave a white flag of defeat. Sometimes, I want very much to be able to just sit back and completely ignore pw. Do the minimum, let others do the job. But I remind myself that if I do that, I'd only be jeopardising my own A-level score since the probablity of anyone else caring about pw is zilch. And it isn't worth it okay, screwing up my A-level score like that. Still. I think pw's freaking unfair. It's impossible to allocate marks fairly 'cause the final product doesn't show how much effort each member's put in. BLEEEAAHHHHHH.
I love this song. Don't know why, 'cause it's not as if the lyrics are significant to me. But the song just strikes a chord in me for one reason or the other, and makes me feel like writing a note too. Hahah. :)
If You Get There Before I Do
Collin Raye
If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling, wait and see
And between now and then
Until I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love,
Me.
There's a million and one things I wish I could say. But strangely, I can't find the words to put them down. That's well enough though, since saying some stuff will only get me into more trouble than necessary. I really have to learn to disguise my feelings better though. Act like nothing's wrong. Look emotionless and like I don't care at all. It's sad, but there're some things that other people would rather pretend didn' t exist. Like sadness and depression and misery and all the bad feelings, and OH dear, I guess that's just life.
But anyway, school today was quite a waste of time. As usual. Was supposed to stay back for drama today, but found out at 130pm that I didn't have to stay back anymore. Was sliigghhtly irrirated 'cause if I'd been told earlier, I could have gone home super early. Since I don't take math anymore and math lect's the last period. Ohhhh, and I sold ice-cream today with Chels. Actually, ice-cream selling today was quite fun! Gave my arms a real work-out man. Hahah. It's damn difficult to scoop up the ice-cream 'cause the ice-cream's like hard and frozen. Felt quite bad about making a guy wait while I tried my hardest to scoop up a decent amount of ice-cream for him. It was pressurizing okay! There was like a crowd of his classmates standing around and everyone was just waiting for me to hurry up and get the ice-cream onto the cone. Hmmm. Nevermind. Next time I do it, I'll be better!
heard
those magic reindeer click @
5:48 PM
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