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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Wish list:
*Nokia 7260 OR Nokia 7610
*ffx-2
*my books
*Zara + topshop clothes
*mp3 player
*Olympus digital camera
*more resolve to study
*determination to continue running
The Snow Queen's over! It seems so weird now that there's no more drama to fill up my days. Like there's nothing to do the whole day. Aimlessly living each day. But ohwell, I'll enjoy this lazy lolling around for the next month or so until school starts again!
I need to start wrapping up my books with plastic for next year. I need to continue with my econs homework. I need to start reading my geog notes or I'll never finish them next year. I need to finish burning my cds to bring up to Malaysia with me, since I'm so behind the times and do not own an mp3 player. Okay, so now I've got alot to do.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
10:56 AM
Friday, November 19, 2004
Ohgosh, it's been what, 3days? And I'm still running that same lousy fever. What's going on? I can hardly sleep all day 'cause my incessant sneezing makes it impossible for any normal human being to get a decent rest. My temperature's been hovering around the 38 point somethings then drops to normal temperature with me breaking out in cold sweat and all. I am severely annoyed. I look disgusting. I feel disgusting. My head feels like it's completely stuffed with cotton wool. And I haven't been eating anything more substantial other than porridge and cream crackers. What the HELL. All right, so I sound damn whiny etcetc. Excuse me for living. I haven't been to drama for the past 3days and I think they think that I'm skiving off to walk up and down Orchard shopping. I wish man. I hope I hope the fever goes today. Tonight. Soon. I feel like I'm DYING. Help.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
9:02 AM
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
I hatehatehate it when my carefully laid plans are set awry due to someone else's lousy planning. Drama's at 3pm today. And 3pm tomorrow. And 3pm on Thursday and Friday. OHWELL, I'm sorry then but I'm so not gonna cancel my plans just for the new drama timing. Which means I'll be missing on Thursday and Friday. They're gonna throw a fit I think, but I really can't help it. I'm meeting Cheryl on Thursday after lunch and Jas on Friday after lunch too. It was supposed to fit nicely into my schedule with drama in the morning. BUTbut. Apparently it's gonna be at 3pm from now on. Too darn bad.
Woke up exceptionally late this morning. I stared at the ceiling for a while wondering at what I should do when I got up, since I had a million and one things I knew I had to do when I drifted off to sleep last night. Decided to continue with my econs homework then hopped off to cut my loooong nails. Then remembered I had to check my email to confirm with Khin what time she'd call. Oh yes. Still have to take a shower, clean out the bird cage, clean out the watering can. Finish my econs homework. Omg, I've JUST started on my first scrap of homework since the onset of the holidays and I realise that I've almost forgotten how to write. My writing looks damn ugly now.
I'm supposed to meet Trina at j8 after drama today to help her out but it looks like I can't today. Hate it. And I was supposed to go visit my grandmother in the hospital today too, and I STILL will go pay her a visit. Gonna leave drama early so I can meet mom and Carol at Novena so we can all go visit my grandma together. Hope she's discharged soon. It's been 3days since she's been warded for observation and mom says that it doesn't seem like they'll discharge her anytime soon. On a different note. I like the fried dumplings at the Tan Tock Seng food court. AND the hot beancurd with longans too. Gonna try a new dessert tonight I think!
So it's back to cutting my nails on the right hand. It's weird typing with short nails on my left hand and long nails on the right. Maybe that's why no-one's ever tried that, even as some quirky weird strange fashion statement.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
10:20 AM
Monday, November 15, 2004
Drama again today. It's a public holiday, for crying out LOUUUD!! But it's actually beginning to settle into a half-nice-half-annoying routine. I get out of bed at 815am. Make a dash for the bathroom. Throw my wallet, umbrella and whatever else I need into my bag. Grab a cookie from the kitchen. And walk out of the front door by 840am. Take a nice slow stroll from home out to the bus-stop. Read on the train. Amble to school from Buona Vista station. Outside the studio by 1015am. I've been doing this for the past week or so. And I actually am starting to enjoy those slow rambly walks to and from the stations. And heck, it's exercise!
Khin called today while I was on the train homeward bound!! Hello woman, yeah you in the US of A!!! :):) I loveeeee you, and I've missed your voice! The train decided to plunge through a tunnel mid-way through my conversation and the line got cut-off. So much for excellent reception. But I've already emailed you already anyhow!!
Took another slow walk down to Dover Market to get wire to make the foilage. As I walked past familiar shops to the smell of prata and food, I momentarily lost myself in memories that seem as fresh as the day as it actually happened. And when I finally recovered myself from my own dream world, I looked at my surroundings and remembered again, this time as myself, in the present. Okay, so I don't make much sense I realise. Anyway. The hardware shops were all closed. Owing to the tiny fact that MAYBE today's a public holiday. And MAYBE they have enough sense to stay home and enjoy the one extra day of rest following the weekend. Sheesh.
Drama again tomorrow at 10. I'm starting to learn how to shut off the irritating voice within me that tell me to stay home and sleep, to ignore my inherent lazy nature and just force my legs to walk themselves out of the front door and towards the bus-stop. Do my work in school, then leave as soon as I can back for the comforts of home or whatever other plans I may have made for the day. I'm supposed to bring a watering can tomorrow. Tell me, will I or will I not look utterly stupid swinging a green watering can with me on the train tomorrow?? Grr. The embarrassments I have to suffer.
Really gotta go out for lunch/dinner with my pals soooon! It's a long overdue outing thanks to drama.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
6:38 PM
Friday, November 12, 2004
Rain falling outside my windows again. The sky's a dark grey. It's making me feel gloomy too, though I woke up feeling perfectly cheery. Ohgosh, I realise it's my first time listening to a chinese song. Jay Chou's An Jing. My chinese sucks but I think I understand the lyrics of the song. Translated, the chorus says:
You're already long gone
So I'll have to slowly leave
Why am I always trailing you, even in breaking up?
I'm really unfated
I can't quiten myself that quickly
I'll slowly learn to let go of you
That's 'cause I love you too much.
Heh. Think I can become a translator next time? Not bad eh. Hahah. Okay, so it sounds weird in english. And it's probably kinda off somewhere in the middle 'cause I couldn't be bothered to check the dictionary.
Had cramps on Wednesday. It was crazy. And gross. And horrible. And OHgoodness, damn damn painful. Sigh. Drama tomorrow. Probably gonna paint stuff white again. I'm not looking down at crewing work from the tip of my nose or anything like that, but I feel kinda... exploited. EVERYONE can paint. It's not like I need any special talent to paint a platform completely white or black or purple. I wish I were in a cca that makes me feel that, hey! I'm actually kinda good at something. For once! But ohwell, shan't complain. Should be thankful for so much already.
I'm getting restless. Getting the feeling that I'm wasting my life away slowly bit by bit, wasting the best years of my life being a complete slacker. When I could be doing stuff that'll benefit me in the long run, I'm just investing my time in small mundane things. I don't challenge myself anymore, I find. What to do, what to do??? I need a meaningful challenging task besides studying to pit my brains against soon or I might just implode with pent-up frustration. I need.. I need something to DO. I thought I'd be happy just fading into the background for the next 2 years and being just part of the crowd. HA. I thought wrong. That thought just doesn't sit well with me. And since I left ij, I've been feeling.. Useless in a way. 'Cause like when I was doing council stuff, I always felt like I was needed. My committee was supposed to be putting in the discipline records in the thick red files I used to keep and every now and then, I'd collect booking slips from the drawer in the prefects' room to collate people's offences. I used to grumble a lot while I was doing it. But at least I was contributing in some way. Now, I just feel like I'm doing nothing but soaking up sunshine and taking in oxygen. I feel un-needed, and... it's childish, I know, but I hate that feeling. Grrrr.
Mom just called to remind me to clear up my mess in the house. Maybe I'll go do that now, 'cause I'm reallyreally damn restless. I wish I were a little busier, so I won't have so much time to think and let my mind wander. Oh sigh, but I know myself, when I get too busy, I'll start wishing that I weren't so busy so I'd have more time for myself to sleep and think... And then I start thinking too much again and get all miserable and ohboy, I'll never be happy I think.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
1:07 PM
Saturday, November 06, 2004
I'm tired but oh-so-happy! Spent the day with my family. The first time in a long time. Makes me feel kinda warm and fuzzy. Ohgosh, this sounds damn cheesy. Heh. Oh and Khin, I got your package!! JUST! Hahah. Decided to blog the moment I got your package, after starting on your hideously pink-and-purple splattered letter. Thanks thanks thanks for your package!! It made my day. :)
But anyway. Took a train down to Tampines with mom and Carol to meet my long-lost estranged uncle. I've never never seen him in my entire life, since mom said he'd walked out of her family when she was about my age after having had a major fight with my grandpa. Mom and her brother recently made contact somehow, and today is the result of many emails and phone calls and cautious planning. My uncle and my grandparents haven't seen each other in more than 20 years but he still doesn't want to see them 'cause he's still angry. Met his family. My two cousins who're primary 3 and 4 and veryvery adorable. Meeting them made me sad that I didn't get to know them earlier. 'Cause when I saw how excited they both were to meet mom and my aunt and Carol and I, my heart just literally melted. The little boy skipped around non-stop and the girl sat down and asked me a million and one questions ranging from whether I was big enough to go to KL by myself 'cause she'd thought I was already a very big girl, to why we couldn't stay for dinner and had to leave by 6. I wish I'd known them earlier. It's strange to think that you and your cousin are complete strangers.
Met dad at Ngee Ann after we left Tampines. Had Swenson's for dinner complete with a double scoop of ice-cream topped with butterscotch and hot chocolate fudge. It's the first time in a longlong time since my family's had dinner out together 'cause everyone's so busy these days. Dropped by Giordano after dinner and tried on some stuff. I conclude that I don't look good in a LOT of clothes. Sigh. Kino after shopping. Made a mental wish-list so that I can start saving for books. I've made a resolution to read a lot more or I will just degenerate into some tv-playstation-xbox addicted person with a vocabulary level of minus 10. Speaking of xbox. I've been playing games on Kor's xbox these past few days. I go crazy when I play Tony Hawk. I just rack up insane combos that can rocket up to 40000++ with a single trick owing to the equally insane stats my character has built-up. Thanks to countless spine transfers, grab and flip tricks and endless grinds.
Watched Princess Diaries 2 with Tri yesterday and the prince was gorgeous hot beautiful dreamy whatever. Ohmygod. 'Tis isn't fair! Where's MY prince?? Hmmm. It's 1130pm now. Just half and hour before I turn 17. 17 in books and on tv always seemed like such a grown-up age to be. Like in those books where the 17-year-old girl complete with gorgeous boyfriend and that ooomph-y attitude finds her fairy-tale like story. Hmph I don't feel anything like that. Where's MY fairy-tale?? I can't help but feel that unlike in those books, my fairy-tale isn't ever gonna happen. :( So much for my happy ending.
Lunch with Krystle, Charis and Cheryl then dinner with Tri tomorrow. Oh dear, I need money to fall from the sky soon. It isn't nice to be feeling majorly severely BROKE on your birthday. Grrr. Okay okay, I really shouldn't be complaining though. Today was a happy+sad day, and I'm thankful that there was some happy in my day already. :)
heard
those magic reindeer click @
11:11 PM
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Pw's OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodbye to highly HIGHLY annoying pw.
Goodbye to feeling irritated on school Mondays 'cause of pw periods.
Goodbye to ponning Mondays just to avoid pw. (So now I'll only have Thurdays and Fridays to pon 'cause of pe. Still waiting for the happy day when I won't have to look forward to ponning any school day anymore ie. when I pass my final pft next year.)
Goodbye to the ugly blue file that wasn't even half full anyway.
Goodbye to the thousand and one pw files in my computer drive 'cause I'm gonna delete them NOW.
Goodbye to 3am nights spent in front of the computer staring at Word racking my brains to think up something intelligible to put in the wr.
Goodbye to messaging "Hey, you know for pw right..."
Goodbye to the torture my poor tortured mind has endured ever since pw started.
Goodbye to feeling annoyed at someone 'cause he/she didn't do their bit.
Goodbye to non-stop frantic rehearsals in front of my mirror with speeches starting with "And so now, I will be presenting the real world research etc etc etc.."
Goodbye to compulsive lying - something I've been doing throughout a large part of the project in the form of making up things and processes.
Goodbye to drifting off to sleep at night wondering at what else there could possibly be left to do for pw the next day.
Goodbye to sacrificing shopping trips and precious time watching tv just to finish up some pw crap.
Goodbye to whining on and on about pw on the phone to Trina and wishing the people who came up with this STUPID idea dead.
Goodbye to telling anyone who'd listen that the people who came up with pw weren't really so smart after all - look at all of us.
Goodbye to pw. Period.
Toodles pw!!
You will not be missed. :)
heard
those magic reindeer click @
9:37 AM
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