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Saturday, February 12, 2005
I think that life is too fleeting for you to brood and mule over the sadder things that have happened. It's easy for me to say it now when all I'm feeling is a discomforting sense of detachment from my emotions and at a time when I've convinced myself that I don't care about you, anything. Weird eh? I'm such a pendulum of emotions that I seriously scare myself all the time.
Had lunch at the cafe with Cheryl, Chels, Xiuf and Noelle before heading down to NUH with everyone minus Noelle to visit Weikong for the first time since his accident. My gosh I couldn't have been more mentally or emotionally prepared I think. I'd always known Weikong as this big strong guy who looked as if he could shove me down with one tiny push. But today. Was so terrible. The sight of him lying in his bed looking so far far unlike his former self almost made me wanna cry. In fact, I could feel myself tearing already. Sigh I can't imagine what it must be like for the people who love him the most. It must be infinitely horrible and just so so sad. But on a happier note, I'm real glad that his mom says he's shown a lot of improvement recently! Please continue to keep Weikong in your prayers everyone.
AC Idol with everyone plus Dree and her og member Hsi Lhiang. Two thumbs up to all the soloists who were absolutely fantabulous! I had a reeeeaal hard time deciding on who I'd vote for. Getting into the hall at 630pm was a total headache okay. We started queuing at 6 plus so we'd get decent seats and guess what - this councillor pops her head out at 630 something and announces that the door we'd queued at wasn't the door they were gonna open to let us in, and that the right door was the one right at the BACK of the queue. What the hell man. I mean seriously, my irritation level was just shooting up. My irridex was at the antagonism level. Haha! Here's application of geog for you!
Now that I pass through each day quite unaffected by what's going on around me, I don't really feel like blogging anymore. There are less emotions attached to the actions, which makes even blogging about my day seem rather redundant. 'Cause really, if I don't talk about my own reactions to something happening and just blog about what I do, period, then it's like keeping some scientific journal that's totally desensitized and offers a detachment from emotions. So I really try not to just talk about what I did today, what I did yesterday and blaaahh. It's really tempting to just blog like that when I DO blog, but what's the POINT really??
And I realise that my name starts to sound really weird when I repeat it many many times to myself and think of my name as made up of all the individual alphabet - k-e-l-l-y. It's like some made up word that doesn't really have a meaning. As does the names "Toa Payoh" and "umbrella". The more I think about the words in alphabetical terms and repeat them to myself over and over again, the more it seems to me that all words don't make sense. Like, what the heck is money actually? It's just some human-coined word that didn't mean anything to anyone before the English language was invented.
heard
those magic reindeer click @
12:21 AM
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